We who are in recovery are all good people. None of us prayed to be sick, none of us asked God for addiction.

The first gift I received was intervention. For some time, I had been drinking before going to work—fighting the nausea and gag reflex at the smell and taste—and drinking at work as well. My boss called me into the office; there sat the Rector of the parish, my Bishop, and our senior elected Lay Officer. My Bishop said, “I want you to go, do not worry about the cost, I want to see you well.”

The second gift was excellent medical care. They gave me the first round of medication during admission. The nurse ran for an additional dosage after taking my blood pressure. The week of detox set me firmly on the road to physical recovery.

Third, during that week of heavy medication, my Higher Power gave me willingness. I could only write in large child-like scrawl at the time, so I know the willingness was a gift. Members of the staff had thought that I really had no chance.

Fourth, I got the thoughtful and tough sponsor I’d asked for. He came daily and led groups at the hospital. Some patients complained to staff about his tough approach, but it was what I needed.

Fifth, the Church allowed me time off. In the 90 days after leaving the hospital, I attended 178 meetings. No “90 in 90” for me!

Since my return, I’ve grown in sobriety. The support group to which I belong informs my ministry work, both in the parish and as a spiritual guide and counselor to chemical-dependent individuals and their families.

While I respect and honor the anonymity of others I see and meet, it is an important part of my recovery to be able to say, “I am Hugh and I am an alcoholic.”

Also contributing to this recovery has been the opportunity to serve for a time on the boards of Friends of Recovery (in Vermont, Connecticut, and New Jersey) and Faces and Voices of Recovery (national); as chair and co-chair of two Diocesan Committees on Education and Support for Clergy; as a member of the Recovered Episcopal Clergy Association; and as treasurer for my support group, sponsor for some its participants, and confidant to a number of those doing their Fifth Step.*

After four years of sobriety I returned to the hospital where I began my recovery and served for a year there as Chaplain. To be able to walk the same paths and work with some of the same staff was a true blessing.

My recovery continues today, with many friends and supporters and individuals I have been able to help. I know that I must continue to give back all of the gifts as best I can, for others, and for myself as well.

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* Fifth Step: Admitting to our Higher Power, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

The Reverend Dr. Hugh Tudor-Foley is Transition Rector of the Episcopal Church of the Good Shepherd in Hemet, California. He asks:

“May God give you Grace to never sell yourself short,
Grace to risk something big for something good, and
Grace to remember that the world is too dangerous for
anything but truth and too small for anything but love.”